Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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