even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
