i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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