I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
