Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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