TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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