you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize