I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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