I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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