woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
