you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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