i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
