Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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