Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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