So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
