actually, I'm a sock model
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
