tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
