Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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