There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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