It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just found puke in my bra..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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