3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
