Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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