Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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