covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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