I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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