Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
