I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
