I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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