how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
