Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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