So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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