I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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