So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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