did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
