We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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