So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
