all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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