she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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