Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
