so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Boobs speak an international language.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
