guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
