To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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