News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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