My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
