At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
