handjob tips. give me some.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
