i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
