I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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