U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
