dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
