is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
operation have a gay friend backfired
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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