im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Damn victory sex feels great
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
