He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
