What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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