Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
