I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
our cab driver is having phone sex.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
