I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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