In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
