"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
