You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
