She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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