so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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