Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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