Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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