some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
